These News From SSHL Are Extreme Cases

It seems, by now, things are very calm at this school. When I was there, it was not as violent, not as physically painful, but it was in some ways more degrading my first two years than this:

Expressen : Det stormar på nytt kring Sigtunaskolan
Publicerad 26 apr 2012 kl 09.19, uppdaterad 20 jun 2018 kl 07.13
https://www.expressen.se/nyheter/inloggad/det-stormar-pa-nytt-kring-sigtunaskolan/

svt : ”Hänsynslöst våld” på Sigtuna läroverk utreds
UPPDATERAD 10 DECEMBER 2013 PUBLICERAD 1 FEBRUARI 2013
https://www.svt.se/nyheter/lokalt/stockholm/extremt-fall-av-pennalism-pa-sigtuna

Aftonbladet : Pojke till sjukhus – efter pungslag på internatskolan
Victor Stenquist | Uppdaterad 2019-04-09 | Publicerad 2016-09-03
https://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/a/Onz183/pojke-till-sjukhus--efter-pungslag-pa-internatskolan

Aftonbladet : Elever på internat i protest – klär sig i svart efter kränkning
Emma Lindström | Uppdaterad 2019-04-09 | Publicerad 2018-02-07
https://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/a/xR8rxj/elever-pa-internat-i-protest--klar-sig-i-svart-efter-krankning

Elever på Sigtunaskolan misstänks för våldtäkt på yngre skolkamrat
John Granlund | Publicerad 2019-04-17
https://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/a/K38x15/elever-pa-sigtunaskolan-misstanks-for-valdtakt-pa-yngre-skolkamrat

The problem, unlike these stories of bullying, in one case rape, in one case a "game" which was basically physical assault, ending in hospital, both my bullies and my friends and my houseparents wanted one thing. Get me away from Jesus Christ. Get me to doubt Christianity and Christian morals. Get me to see religions, including "my own" (which in that case it would no longer have been) in a relativistic way, that should not interfere with our functioning in society.

On some level, the school had a connexion to a movement within the Lutheran state Church, the "Ungkyrkorörelsen" ... the Sigtuna Foundation and its Library were still very much more about that, and were keeping this up. Old teachers, on the school, like the assistant director, nicknamed "the Torch" or the teacher of Home Economics (a noble lady, who was basically told, when I absented from Lutheran Church, by some, that I was getting away from Christianity, it was some relief to her that I was "just" converting to Catholicism — she had been my sponsor at the baptism at age 15), such old teachers were partly still about that. Some others, also old, already weren't. The younger teachers mostly weren't (I'd venture that the music teacher was actively Lutheran).

The home parents weren't.

A certain widow of a freemason, and back then lover of another (she later married him, when this no longer interfered with the then abolished widow's pension), and a restaurant owner, were the house parents at Ängsbacken. I had been sent there by the social services, them paying, because I had been bullied in another school. At SSHL there was somewhat less bullying in the school yard, but it was more intense in the home, instead. Some of those who didn't bully me, who were in fact pretty good friends, were trying to make me "think critically" of Christianity. I'd now consider that as a "good cop / bad cop" routine.

I was on one level pushed into the role of permanent apologist for my Christian and on some basic levels very pro-Fascist views, as well as pro-Medieval, because everyone around me, with one exception, from another home, and who got accused of sexually abusing me (not the case), was attacking that.

On another level, I was pushed into the role of permanent self doubt, especially before the girls, and consequently sexual dissatisfaction and ... the solitary perversion. Back then. I was accused of worse perversions than that — by an older and much stronger boy who preferred people to answer "yes" with a moan. Not necessarily that he was homosexual, simply, he approved of "self knowledge" and "exploring one's homosexual side" and when I took such things like a personal insult, and tried to revenge myself, he would hit me very hard in the stomach. I have few doubts that he made a successful carreere as a psychiatrist or sth.

He also got personally angry, and felt personally insulted, when I defended Christianity. Even when Fascism was out of the discussion.

I do not think that Collège Stanislas equals this. But whether it does or not, it overtly does not stand for the same things my actual bullies did. And obviously, at Mediapart, they are if anything trying to stop any possible bullying that could be going on there, but they do stand for the things my bullies stood for.

As I said, they tried to make me ditch Christianity, those first two years. It didn't work out that way. I became a defender of Christianity on an intellectual level (trying to sway those guys on an emotional level would have been useless for me), and as a result needed to look up where my Christianity came from, historically. Evangelical Christianity was some third or fourth generation products indirectly of the Deformation.* Lutheranism was a more direct product of it. And Lutheranism and all other sources of Evangelicals, came from Catholicism. I either had to deem Christianity false — not on my to do list — or Catholicism (or possibly Orthodoxy) true. I took the latter course, but came to the Catholic Church already broken by the school./HGL

* Some spell it with an R.